It helps to NOT WAIT and just hustle

I am by nature impatient. I guess Im a little brat too. Im used to getting things in my own time frame either because I work hard for it or persuade whoever promised to give them to me to make sure they give them on time. So usually, i dont wait any longer than I expect to. But these days, it seems like I'm being taught this valuable virtue of patience because all the very important things that I expect to happen in my life seem to need a lot of waiting. I can't stand it. The more I wait, I realize, the more I can't get things done.

1. My funds for the Thailand mission trip in May>> I can't wait to hear from my would-be sponsors

2. My "go signal" papers for Baltimore >> Until I get these, a lot of things can't happen yet, like:

-I can't take my American Dietetic Association (ADA) Exam
-I can't go to New York to meet up with my best friend D
-I can't meet up with my former roommate at Parkville
-I can't concentrate

These are the two things I am currently waiting for. Argh!

Lately, though, I have learned that it helps to forget about waiting (even for just a few minutes). One book I read talked about hustling while waiting. This means not being stupid just waiting and waiting but doing what you have to do while you wait. I could use that. You know, take time to smell the flowers, or just do my job instead of getting irritated that I'm still not getting these things. My mind has to rest. Where is my faith? Siiigghhh... (I dont feel Im making any sense but I know I got to my point.)

(photo by Dan. Crabapple tree in his backyard.)

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Burpday Blog

I always do this. I think I had another one like this with the same title last year. Or I'm not sure.

Anyway, today is my birthday (not that I think people would care haha) but it's an awesome day so i guess its blog-worthy. I'm 24 now and lots of things have changed blahblahblah... but I still hate spiders! Eeeew. Yuk!


This photo was sent to me by my best buddy D. He sure knows how to bring the nuts out of me. And that's a HUGE spider from Australia! Yuk.

Yup, this is a marvelous day! I got two early phone calls from two very close friends and heaps of text messages. You know when youre excited about something and yet you dont know what about or why but you know something exciting's about to happen? That's how I feel!

But I still hate spiders. I guess that will not change. Yuck.

When it's over

In three days, I'm turning a year older. No time for cheese though. I'm too busy to get myself nuts with the past. But I have to take a break now to blog. I havent been updating. Why does it bother me when I dont get to update? Hmmm...

Anyway, when a person so dear to you (uhrrrmm... call it a past love and good friend) does not call, respond to your emails or even send you sms anymore, it means that its totally over between the two of you, am i right? So when a person does that (im talking about ditching you without clue)... even if you were good friends and you dont remember anything that you did that might have caused him to "evaporate"... you're just going to leave it all behind, right? Even when it kinda' hurts coz you dont understand why and you still do have the hope that the both of you used to hold that one day, there would still be "the two of you"?

Oh I know the answer to all of these questions. Its a simple resounding YES.

Anyway yeah, this is about me. Im moderately stupid for still dwelling on this (just moderately though). Im thankful that just before I turn another year older, I make all these new realizations and learn new lessons. My lesson for this year is "learn to let go (and do it with poise please)". A friend of mine told me he hates birthdays and I wondered why. I guess it just doesnt matter much to some people but for me, I find this time of the year meaningful everytime.

I think I'm over him. I dont know what he's thinking. Sometimes it drives me crazy. I really did fall for him. But as I said in a past entry, this is a year of lots of "moving on's" and "stepping forward's".

I have a clearer view of my plans for the future. I am grateful for the new friends I have. Soon, I will fall in love again. Undoubtedly. But for now, I am trying not to awaken love till its time. I dont want to make the same mistake.

Time to fly, goose!