Loosening it up

Dont you notice that there are times when it seems like the more you tighten your grip on something, the more it slips away? There is nothing you can really hold on to even with your firmest grip. It feels like some bad reaction to a hallucigenic drug. Life can be such a big bummer sometimes!

Drat. There are just a lot of thoughts I cannot let go. Thoughts like, what will I be like in the next six months? Or, is this person really who I think he or she is or says? I wish I didnt have to care if promises would get broken or not... or if the things I've been planning on would really push through or not... or if this shampoo would really get rid of split ends or not, etc... Uncertainties drive me insane.

Well, I guess the lesson behind all these thoughts is that I dont really have to hold on to anything too tightly. I should just be happy about the present. I have met so many new people that have made a difference in my life and everyday they give me a reason to believe that even if  things that matter to me do slip away, it would  always be good to look back on the better things and to keep hoping for the next good ones. For everything, I should be thankful... and prayerful.

I got this beautiful text message a few days ago (I just added a few more lines):

When everything goes wrong, PUSH.

When you wish for something, PUSH.

When people dont understand you, PUSH.

When things are uncertain, PUSH.

When you can't see what's behind the door, PUSH.

PUSH. PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.

P - RAY

U- NTIL

S- OMETHING

H- APPENS

I know it doesnt mean "SIT THERE IDLY AND KEEP MURMURING YOUR NEEDS HEAVENWARDS." Its just that there are times when it seems like we've exhausted all our energies trying to figure out things or find results but still we cant seem to find what we long to see or feel. The truth in this is, we cannot do the digging, the searching, the maintaining, the figuring out... There are times when we need to take a break and rest. These are the particular points in time when we have to stay still and loosen our tight grips and let go... and let God.

 

Sunsets and all that

Photo by Dan

The sunset indicates the end of a cycle or condition. It is a period of rest, renewal, and evaluation.

Well, i'm exactly in that period of my life right now. Previously, I shared that I wanted to stop being so obsessed with the things that I'm expecting to happen. I learned another very valuable lesson from a person I look up to recently. IT IS BETTER TO HOPE THAN TO EXPECT. I thought it seemed like hoping and expecting are the same things. But thinking more deeply about it, they are not.

Expecting is wanting so much for something to happen and not giving allowance or preparation to the possibility that it may not. Hoping, on the other hand, is looking forward to something approaching but at the same time, telling yourself that if it doesnt happen, you will still be alright. Preparation makes the difference. And even faith big time.

Photo by Dan


Now, Im still doing a lot of things but I can say that Im resting just the same. I am resting from waiting. I am evaluating my daily routines from my waking up to staring at the ceiling to going to work to type away all day to going home to sleeping to waking up again... It's all meaningless. Life is short.

My closest friend in college just flew to Los Angeles to get her Master's Degree. She is going to do something that she has always wanted but she never expected she would get there so soon. I envy her a bit as I have been wanting so badly to fly over to Baltimore and I have been expecting it but it has not happened yet. But I realized that different people are meant to do different things according to the measure of faith they have been given. I am where I am right now to do fulfilling things. In the next three Sundays, I will be speaking to four towns about the Leadership Training Program at Church. In May, I will fly to Thailand to join the mission outreach. I am still busy with my youth group and the band and the worship leading team and having fun with my job. And wow, I am in-love with the best guy in the world too! I almost overlooked all these things. I am glad with the way my life is being used by God and for all the nice, cute and cuddly angels of different forms, sizes, and shapes that He sends my way everyday. Life is fun!

Photo by Dan


I am glad for the privilege to hope. I have wonderful hopes lined up. Not expectations. Hopes. And even if they may not come out the way I wanted them to or in the time I wished they would arrive, I know I am enjoying my life. And Im giving glory to Whom it is due.

I love the sunset!!! :)



Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.
Psalm 39:4-5