My brother is getting married next year!!!
I had to slap myself in front of the mirror to make myself believe it. For real. My only authentic brother in the world is about to start his own family (Most of my "adopted" big bro's are already married except for Zak, who's just about to get married next year as well.)
Wow, this is the real world. People get married. People move around. People move on.
I was still dilly-dallying in my pants thinking about buying a digital camera or taking basic photography course and those things. My mom tells me to stop thinking about them for now and learn how to prioritize. I understand that, but i tell myself that i do have the right to enjoy these things because Im single. But my mom's right and I really do know what she's talking about. I have to start learning how to be wise. ..especially with money matters. But all that mom said didnt really sink in till i found out my brother's about to get married!!! For a moment i was super stunned and a voice kept yanking inside me, "It cant be true! It cant be true! How can this be? Noooooooooooo!!!"
Well he fell in love a long time ago, kept that consistent for years and now he's ready to leave his home to start another. Thats the simplest way to explain it.
Okay, yeah, im over-reacting! But im not feeling this way because im insecure that he's getting married before me or anything. Its just that im kinda scared for my bro. I keep asking, is he ready? He's of legal age, but i still see him as my young obnoxious life-long enemy. I just realized that so much have changed... and has to change. First on the line is how I see him as a person.
Like a big bang, reality hit me. Ive been dwindling in all of my dreams and all the things Im planning to shop for when i get super rich (which will be very soon hehehehe) but suddenly, God woke me up with such news! Now i see the bigger pie. My life isnt my own. It never was. And just as I ask "Is my brother ready?", I should also ask it for myself. How am i getting ready for the same life that my brother is about to face? How am i getting ready to face a bigger family and what is my part in my brother's choice of life? I know i have a part because as i said, my life isnt my own. I am accountable.
How am i going to share God's Word to my brother and his future wife so they'd have a God-centered, far-from-crumbles married life? How am i going to be as an aunt to my future niece or nephew? How am i going to get over these rushing thoughts that are starting to devour me? Argh.
My brother has great respect for me, I can sense that. We may not be too good at throwing thoughts to each other in a systematic way but I know he looks up to me. I dont really say it to him in a nice way but i look up to him as well. And very soon, my responsibility in his life would be more than just to be his silly goose of a sister or the maid of honor at his wedding.
I've lived away from reality too long. Thanks for waking me up, bro!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
The Best Sneeze ever
Im having a really bad flu. Oh well, theres no such thing as a good flu anyway. But still, I'd say there are better flus. This one's really bad. I sneeze all the time and the thing I hate the most is when im about to sneeze and something stops it! Argh! Im almost bed-ridden now. Almost. But i am not to be defeated by a stupid flu.
I missed work today unofficially. Ive not been working for the past six days because I have just had my training for BSC (as in Basic Safety Course). It was so much fun! That included Fire Prevention and Firefighting, Personal Survival Techniques, Elementary First Aid, Personal Security and Social Responsibility. They are so much more interesting than they sound. And dont ask me why i took that training. I wouldnt say I just wanted to, although I really did just want to at first. Others who know what it means to take BSC would understand what its for though. But you'll never hear it from me (Being coy here now).
Anyway, I just wanted to explain the relationship between my bad flu and my BSC training. We had our two-day practicum somewhere in Cavite for Firefighting and Personal Survival Techniques. That means we had our chance to be real firemen and women for a day. Hmmm maybe we are firemen now for real although im not sure to what extent our certificates could get us. But hey it gives us the power to extinguish fires! Wooohooo! Or maybe the power actually just comes from the knowledge of it.
We also did a little dummy rescue operation and killed a huge fire in an enclosed space. According to our trainor, thats the kind that firemen dread the most. We realized firsthand why that is so. Not only are the Breathing Apparatus heaps heavy, you could see nothing in such a space. As in nothing. And not to mention the difficulty of breathing under a facial respiratory mask that only lasts for 30 minutes. But this is where you would know the real value of teamwork. The nozzleman cannot do it alone. The back-up man has to push his shoulders so he wouldnt give up, and the hostenders must keep themselves alert at all times and careful not to have the hose entangled or all of them would die. And they must step into the enclosed space to kill the fire in slow but sure, dynamic steps. I now appreciate firefighters more. Its no silly joke to kill a fire.
And then there was the Personal Survival Techniques (PST) practicum. We splashed on a pool because its all about survival on water. We had our lifejackets on. We looked cool on them and i like them as much as the fireman's outfit. But we didnt go there to look cool. In fact, in most of the activities we did, we looked splendidly idiotic. But that was until our trainors declared we have passed the course. Because after that, we felt cooler than the coolest we ever felt for sometime. Anyway, one thing i wouldnt forget at PST was having to jump from a 12-foot diving board. That isnt too high, but it IS high. And add to it my fear of heights. I was the only person in class who didnt get to jump along with the rest, the only one to be given three chances. It was weird because I knew i could do it and yet when i climbed up there, it was so hard. The trainor almost gave up on me... or tried to look like it so i would be motivated (or better yet, "scared of him") enough to jump. Weeks before the training, i have already heard about that jump part and it has given me nosebleed since then. Anyway, i did jump. You know how i did it? I put my right hand on my nose, pinching it; my left hand crossing over to my right shoulder to keep my other hand intact; bent my my legs; closed my eyes; prayed; and then jumped! I just waited for the water, if you know what i mean. But it was exhilarating... especially hearing the applause of the whole class when i finally did it. It was also a special moment because that was when I heard almost everyone, people who I've only been with for a few couple of days, giving me all the encouragement and the "you can do it's". It was awesome!
But that wasnt why i have the bad flu now. The day after we came back to Manila from Cavite, we were welcomed by the heavy rains. And my friend and i welcomed it as well by being drenched on it. It wasnt because we had no umbrella. We also had our jackets on. But the rain was sooooo bad that we boarded the LRT all wet from head to toe. Two days after, the bad flu hit me.
Oh well, tomorrow it's going to turn good. Im going back to work. Shoo flu! Youre just a sneeze away!
I missed work today unofficially. Ive not been working for the past six days because I have just had my training for BSC (as in Basic Safety Course). It was so much fun! That included Fire Prevention and Firefighting, Personal Survival Techniques, Elementary First Aid, Personal Security and Social Responsibility. They are so much more interesting than they sound. And dont ask me why i took that training. I wouldnt say I just wanted to, although I really did just want to at first. Others who know what it means to take BSC would understand what its for though. But you'll never hear it from me (Being coy here now).
Anyway, I just wanted to explain the relationship between my bad flu and my BSC training. We had our two-day practicum somewhere in Cavite for Firefighting and Personal Survival Techniques. That means we had our chance to be real firemen and women for a day. Hmmm maybe we are firemen now for real although im not sure to what extent our certificates could get us. But hey it gives us the power to extinguish fires! Wooohooo! Or maybe the power actually just comes from the knowledge of it.
We also did a little dummy rescue operation and killed a huge fire in an enclosed space. According to our trainor, thats the kind that firemen dread the most. We realized firsthand why that is so. Not only are the Breathing Apparatus heaps heavy, you could see nothing in such a space. As in nothing. And not to mention the difficulty of breathing under a facial respiratory mask that only lasts for 30 minutes. But this is where you would know the real value of teamwork. The nozzleman cannot do it alone. The back-up man has to push his shoulders so he wouldnt give up, and the hostenders must keep themselves alert at all times and careful not to have the hose entangled or all of them would die. And they must step into the enclosed space to kill the fire in slow but sure, dynamic steps. I now appreciate firefighters more. Its no silly joke to kill a fire.
And then there was the Personal Survival Techniques (PST) practicum. We splashed on a pool because its all about survival on water. We had our lifejackets on. We looked cool on them and i like them as much as the fireman's outfit. But we didnt go there to look cool. In fact, in most of the activities we did, we looked splendidly idiotic. But that was until our trainors declared we have passed the course. Because after that, we felt cooler than the coolest we ever felt for sometime. Anyway, one thing i wouldnt forget at PST was having to jump from a 12-foot diving board. That isnt too high, but it IS high. And add to it my fear of heights. I was the only person in class who didnt get to jump along with the rest, the only one to be given three chances. It was weird because I knew i could do it and yet when i climbed up there, it was so hard. The trainor almost gave up on me... or tried to look like it so i would be motivated (or better yet, "scared of him") enough to jump. Weeks before the training, i have already heard about that jump part and it has given me nosebleed since then. Anyway, i did jump. You know how i did it? I put my right hand on my nose, pinching it; my left hand crossing over to my right shoulder to keep my other hand intact; bent my my legs; closed my eyes; prayed; and then jumped! I just waited for the water, if you know what i mean. But it was exhilarating... especially hearing the applause of the whole class when i finally did it. It was also a special moment because that was when I heard almost everyone, people who I've only been with for a few couple of days, giving me all the encouragement and the "you can do it's". It was awesome!
But that wasnt why i have the bad flu now. The day after we came back to Manila from Cavite, we were welcomed by the heavy rains. And my friend and i welcomed it as well by being drenched on it. It wasnt because we had no umbrella. We also had our jackets on. But the rain was sooooo bad that we boarded the LRT all wet from head to toe. Two days after, the bad flu hit me.
Oh well, tomorrow it's going to turn good. Im going back to work. Shoo flu! Youre just a sneeze away!
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