Wakey Wakey to Me..

My brother is getting married next year!!!

I had to slap myself in front of the mirror to make myself believe it. For real. My only authentic brother in the world is about to start his own family (Most of my "adopted" big bro's are already married except for Zak, who's just about to get married next year as well.)

Wow, this is the real world. People get married. People move around. People move on.

I was still dilly-dallying in my pants thinking about buying a digital camera or taking basic photography course and those things. My mom tells me to stop thinking about them for now and learn how to prioritize. I understand that, but i tell myself that i do have the right to enjoy these things because Im single. But my mom's right and I really do know what she's talking about. I have to start learning how to be wise. ..especially with money matters. But all that mom said didnt really sink in till i found out my brother's about to get married!!! For a moment i was super stunned and a voice kept yanking inside me, "It cant be true! It cant be true! How can this be? Noooooooooooo!!!"

Well he fell in love a long time ago, kept that consistent for years and now he's ready to leave his home to start another. Thats the simplest way to explain it.

Okay, yeah, im over-reacting! But im not feeling this way because im insecure that he's getting married before me or anything. Its just that im kinda scared for my bro. I keep asking, is he ready? He's of legal age, but i still see him as my young obnoxious life-long enemy. I just realized that so much have changed... and has to change. First on the line is how I see him as a person.
Like a big bang, reality hit me. Ive been dwindling in all of my dreams and all the things Im planning to shop for when i get super rich (which will be very soon hehehehe) but suddenly, God woke me up with such news! Now i see the bigger pie. My life isnt my own. It never was. And just as I ask "Is my brother ready?", I should also ask it for myself. How am i getting ready for the same life that my brother is about to face? How am i getting ready to face a bigger family and what is my part in my brother's choice of life? I know i have a part because as i said, my life isnt my own. I am accountable.

How am i going to share God's Word to my brother and his future wife so they'd have a God-centered, far-from-crumbles married life? How am i going to be as an aunt to my future niece or nephew? How am i going to get over these rushing thoughts that are starting to devour me? Argh.

My brother has great respect for me, I can sense that. We may not be too good at throwing thoughts to each other in a systematic way but I know he looks up to me. I dont really say it to him in a nice way but i look up to him as well. And very soon, my responsibility in his life would be more than just to be his silly goose of a sister or the maid of honor at his wedding.

I've lived away from reality too long. Thanks for waking me up, bro!

The Best Sneeze ever

Im having a really bad flu. Oh well, theres no such thing as a good flu anyway. But still, I'd say there are better flus. This one's really bad. I sneeze all the time and the thing I hate the most is when im about to sneeze and something stops it! Argh! Im almost bed-ridden now. Almost. But i am not to be defeated by a stupid flu.


I missed work today unofficially. Ive not been working for the past six days because I have just had my training for BSC (as in Basic Safety Course). It was so much fun! That included Fire Prevention and Firefighting, Personal Survival Techniques, Elementary First Aid, Personal Security and Social Responsibility. They are so much more interesting than they sound. And dont ask me why i took that training. I wouldnt say I just wanted to, although I really did just want to at first. Others who know what it means to take BSC would understand what its for though. But you'll never hear it from me (Being coy here now).


Anyway, I just wanted to explain the relationship between my bad flu and my BSC training. We had our two-day practicum somewhere in Cavite for Firefighting and Personal Survival Techniques. That means we had our chance to be real firemen and women for a day. Hmmm maybe we are firemen now for real although im not sure to what extent our certificates could get us. But hey it gives us the power to extinguish fires! Wooohooo! Or maybe the power actually just comes from the knowledge of it.


We also did a little dummy rescue operation and killed a huge fire in an enclosed space. According to our trainor, thats the kind that firemen dread the most. We realized firsthand why that is so. Not only are the Breathing Apparatus heaps heavy, you could see nothing in such a space. As in nothing. And not to mention the difficulty of breathing under a facial respiratory mask that only lasts for 30 minutes. But this is where you would know the real value of teamwork. The nozzleman cannot do it alone. The back-up man has to push his shoulders so he wouldnt give up, and the hostenders must keep themselves alert at all times and careful not to have the hose entangled or all of them would die. And they must step into the enclosed space to kill the fire in slow but sure, dynamic steps. I now appreciate firefighters more. Its no silly joke to kill a fire.


And then there was the Personal Survival Techniques (PST) practicum. We splashed on a pool because its all about survival on water. We had our lifejackets on. We looked cool on them and i like them as much as the fireman's outfit. But we didnt go there to look cool. In fact, in most of the activities we did, we looked splendidly idiotic. But that was until our trainors declared we have passed the course. Because after that, we felt cooler than the coolest we ever felt for sometime. Anyway, one thing i wouldnt forget at PST was having to jump from a 12-foot diving board. That isnt too high, but it IS high. And add to it my fear of heights. I was the only person in class who didnt get to jump along with the rest, the only one to be given three chances. It was weird because I knew i could do it and yet when i climbed up there, it was so hard. The trainor almost gave up on me... or tried to look like it so i would be motivated (or better yet, "scared of him") enough to jump. Weeks before the training, i have already heard about that jump part and it has given me nosebleed since then. Anyway, i did jump. You know how i did it? I put my right hand on my nose, pinching it; my left hand crossing over to my right shoulder to keep my other hand intact; bent my my legs; closed my eyes; prayed; and then jumped! I just waited for the water, if you know what i mean. But it was exhilarating... especially hearing the applause of the whole class when i finally did it. It was also a special moment because that was when I heard almost everyone, people who I've only been with for a few couple of days, giving me all the encouragement and the "you can do it's". It was awesome!


But that wasnt why i have the bad flu now. The day after we came back to Manila from Cavite, we were welcomed by the heavy rains. And my friend and i welcomed it as well by being drenched on it. It wasnt because we had no umbrella. We also had our jackets on. But the rain was sooooo bad that we boarded the LRT all wet from head to toe. Two days after, the bad flu hit me.


Oh well, tomorrow it's going to turn good. Im going back to work. Shoo flu! Youre just a sneeze away!

New Me

I could say my life is back to normal now after those 20 days in Thailand. But my life isnt the same either.

While doing the Thailand Outreach, we were told that after this mission trip, we'd feel weird when we get back to our own land. Thats because we'd be reminded of everything---places, food, experiences and most of all, the people whom we're not sure we'd still ever see again. That's exactly what's happening to me right now. Argh.

Having been able to get there and be one of the 79 short-term youth missionaries was one of the great big miracles of my life! Seriously. I didnt think I could go because fund-raising is really difficult to do in these times when everyone seems to be in need. But I super thank God for the lives of all the people who helped, who came from different places and gave in the most unlikely moments. I enjoyed the surprise of receiving things from people I never expected would be so generously helpful! This was one of the first things I came to enjoy while preparing for this trip--the surprises! And next is the anticipation for more.


I knew that going out there in the mission fields meant stepping out of my comfort zone. We went to different tribe locations where there was no mobile reception! (I couldnt live without my mobile phone back home!) And when we were immersed in the Karen tribe community in Chiangrai for a week, we stayed in a really really cold place where they were used to the "squatty potties" and bathing with ice cold water! My team mates and I have our own "stories of discomfort" to share but whenever we sat down and talked during breaks, we realized they never really mattered.

After Thailand, Im never the same. I met a new family, my team mates in Team Zech. I met new friends--the people from the Thai churches, the Thai youth, our interpreters, the pastors, the tribesfolks, the other teams. I met a new me. I realized that I can maximize my potentials to bring ease to the lives of other people, make a difference, and simply bring smiles to strangers and that even far away from all the comfort i have always been used to, I realized that all I need is a heart thats willing to do anything to please God and He'd give me all that I need.

Trust Fall

I never thought I had serious issues with trusting people until tonight. Well, I always knew I had trouble trusting too easily until I find that something in them that catches my trust, which I cant even define clearly for myself.

I used to be too trusting until many of those whom I believed in and fully trusted broke my confidence. So now I truly trust only a very few. I thought I was doing fine now. I never thought my problem with trust was that big or had any effect on my personality as a whole until we did this thing called "Trust Fall".

We just had our final team-building session for the Thailand outreach and one by one, they asked us to stand on a high footstall with our back facing our team mates, whose arms are lined together ready to catch us on our fall. The objective is to develop trust for one another, enough to risk our lives (or our spinal columns) and be able to fall backwards as freely as a lifeless log, knowing that our team mates will never leave us falling to our death pit.

"I _________, choose to do this event. Team mates are you ready?"
"Ready!"
"Im falling!"
"Fall!"
(Yeah, this is kinda like the "chant" thing)

I came up last, thinking that I could pull it off as easily as everyone else did. Wrong. When I was up there, I couldnt trust my team mates. I couldnt fall. I trembled and I wondered what was wrong with me. I tried twice but I didnt do the right fall. They made me rest for a bit and they told me we wouldnt quit until I do a perfect fall. Argh.

One of the facilitators asked me if i had issues with trust in the past. I thought, yes a lot of times but I dont think its much of a big deal. I mean, they are issues with other people, not my team mates. But she told me it manifests just the same.

My experiences with trust being broken several times and then finding hard to trust again and then slowly trying to trust only a very few chosen people actually affects how I trust each and every person I meet or mingle with. Hmm interesting huh?

I realized its true. And even if I say I do trust a few people, Im not sure if I can really FULLY trust any person at all. Wow. What a significant information about my inner self!

Anyway, it was something I had to deal with right there.... and I had to break free from that if I wanted a normal, happy life (not to mention if I didnt want to be kicked out from the team!). So I climbed the footstall again and positioned myself. I still trembled a little and after a few breath-taking minutes, I just prayed "Lord, your power is made perfect in my weakness." If I couldnt trust myself that I could trust my team mates, I guess what I did was to just trust the Lord to help with it.

So it worked. I did a perfect backward fall. Hooray!

I felt free.

Its really hard to put our full trust on people. In one way or another, they will break it... even those who you dont expect would. I guess there's nothing wrong with reserving a little doubt sometimes...but not at all times. I think trusting people calls for wisdom.

When trust gets broken, your heart does as well somehow. But the lesson I learned here is that people are just people. God is God. People may always do us wrong but we are never hurt without our consent. If we dwell on broken trusts, it would be hard to rebuild them. We must open our hearts to welcome those who want to be trsuted again and mean it. But its not just the heart though that must be opened, but our eyes and mind as well so we'd be awake to avoid anything being broken again. And we can always trust on God to restore broken relationships... or our broken selves.

These are what I learned: Trust is a big word. Love is fake without trust. You cannot be a full person without trust. Trust can be rebuilt with full forgiveness of self and others. And there are people who can really be fully trusted.

Warrior Is A Child

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
I'm strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all my tears

They don't know
That I come running home when I fall down
They dont know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
For deep inside this armour, the warrior is a child.

Unafraid because this armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that Im amazing
I never face retreat
But they dont know the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know
That I come running down when I fall down
They dont know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
For deep inside this armour, the warrior is a child.

Loosening it up

Dont you notice that there are times when it seems like the more you tighten your grip on something, the more it slips away? There is nothing you can really hold on to even with your firmest grip. It feels like some bad reaction to a hallucigenic drug. Life can be such a big bummer sometimes!

Drat. There are just a lot of thoughts I cannot let go. Thoughts like, what will I be like in the next six months? Or, is this person really who I think he or she is or says? I wish I didnt have to care if promises would get broken or not... or if the things I've been planning on would really push through or not... or if this shampoo would really get rid of split ends or not, etc... Uncertainties drive me insane.

Well, I guess the lesson behind all these thoughts is that I dont really have to hold on to anything too tightly. I should just be happy about the present. I have met so many new people that have made a difference in my life and everyday they give me a reason to believe that even if  things that matter to me do slip away, it would  always be good to look back on the better things and to keep hoping for the next good ones. For everything, I should be thankful... and prayerful.

I got this beautiful text message a few days ago (I just added a few more lines):

When everything goes wrong, PUSH.

When you wish for something, PUSH.

When people dont understand you, PUSH.

When things are uncertain, PUSH.

When you can't see what's behind the door, PUSH.

PUSH. PUSH. PUSH. PUSH.

P - RAY

U- NTIL

S- OMETHING

H- APPENS

I know it doesnt mean "SIT THERE IDLY AND KEEP MURMURING YOUR NEEDS HEAVENWARDS." Its just that there are times when it seems like we've exhausted all our energies trying to figure out things or find results but still we cant seem to find what we long to see or feel. The truth in this is, we cannot do the digging, the searching, the maintaining, the figuring out... There are times when we need to take a break and rest. These are the particular points in time when we have to stay still and loosen our tight grips and let go... and let God.

 

Sunsets and all that

Photo by Dan

The sunset indicates the end of a cycle or condition. It is a period of rest, renewal, and evaluation.

Well, i'm exactly in that period of my life right now. Previously, I shared that I wanted to stop being so obsessed with the things that I'm expecting to happen. I learned another very valuable lesson from a person I look up to recently. IT IS BETTER TO HOPE THAN TO EXPECT. I thought it seemed like hoping and expecting are the same things. But thinking more deeply about it, they are not.

Expecting is wanting so much for something to happen and not giving allowance or preparation to the possibility that it may not. Hoping, on the other hand, is looking forward to something approaching but at the same time, telling yourself that if it doesnt happen, you will still be alright. Preparation makes the difference. And even faith big time.

Photo by Dan


Now, Im still doing a lot of things but I can say that Im resting just the same. I am resting from waiting. I am evaluating my daily routines from my waking up to staring at the ceiling to going to work to type away all day to going home to sleeping to waking up again... It's all meaningless. Life is short.

My closest friend in college just flew to Los Angeles to get her Master's Degree. She is going to do something that she has always wanted but she never expected she would get there so soon. I envy her a bit as I have been wanting so badly to fly over to Baltimore and I have been expecting it but it has not happened yet. But I realized that different people are meant to do different things according to the measure of faith they have been given. I am where I am right now to do fulfilling things. In the next three Sundays, I will be speaking to four towns about the Leadership Training Program at Church. In May, I will fly to Thailand to join the mission outreach. I am still busy with my youth group and the band and the worship leading team and having fun with my job. And wow, I am in-love with the best guy in the world too! I almost overlooked all these things. I am glad with the way my life is being used by God and for all the nice, cute and cuddly angels of different forms, sizes, and shapes that He sends my way everyday. Life is fun!

Photo by Dan


I am glad for the privilege to hope. I have wonderful hopes lined up. Not expectations. Hopes. And even if they may not come out the way I wanted them to or in the time I wished they would arrive, I know I am enjoying my life. And Im giving glory to Whom it is due.

I love the sunset!!! :)



Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.
Psalm 39:4-5

It helps to NOT WAIT and just hustle

I am by nature impatient. I guess Im a little brat too. Im used to getting things in my own time frame either because I work hard for it or persuade whoever promised to give them to me to make sure they give them on time. So usually, i dont wait any longer than I expect to. But these days, it seems like I'm being taught this valuable virtue of patience because all the very important things that I expect to happen in my life seem to need a lot of waiting. I can't stand it. The more I wait, I realize, the more I can't get things done.

1. My funds for the Thailand mission trip in May>> I can't wait to hear from my would-be sponsors

2. My "go signal" papers for Baltimore >> Until I get these, a lot of things can't happen yet, like:

-I can't take my American Dietetic Association (ADA) Exam
-I can't go to New York to meet up with my best friend D
-I can't meet up with my former roommate at Parkville
-I can't concentrate

These are the two things I am currently waiting for. Argh!

Lately, though, I have learned that it helps to forget about waiting (even for just a few minutes). One book I read talked about hustling while waiting. This means not being stupid just waiting and waiting but doing what you have to do while you wait. I could use that. You know, take time to smell the flowers, or just do my job instead of getting irritated that I'm still not getting these things. My mind has to rest. Where is my faith? Siiigghhh... (I dont feel Im making any sense but I know I got to my point.)

(photo by Dan. Crabapple tree in his backyard.)

"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Burpday Blog

I always do this. I think I had another one like this with the same title last year. Or I'm not sure.

Anyway, today is my birthday (not that I think people would care haha) but it's an awesome day so i guess its blog-worthy. I'm 24 now and lots of things have changed blahblahblah... but I still hate spiders! Eeeew. Yuk!


This photo was sent to me by my best buddy D. He sure knows how to bring the nuts out of me. And that's a HUGE spider from Australia! Yuk.

Yup, this is a marvelous day! I got two early phone calls from two very close friends and heaps of text messages. You know when youre excited about something and yet you dont know what about or why but you know something exciting's about to happen? That's how I feel!

But I still hate spiders. I guess that will not change. Yuck.

When it's over

In three days, I'm turning a year older. No time for cheese though. I'm too busy to get myself nuts with the past. But I have to take a break now to blog. I havent been updating. Why does it bother me when I dont get to update? Hmmm...

Anyway, when a person so dear to you (uhrrrmm... call it a past love and good friend) does not call, respond to your emails or even send you sms anymore, it means that its totally over between the two of you, am i right? So when a person does that (im talking about ditching you without clue)... even if you were good friends and you dont remember anything that you did that might have caused him to "evaporate"... you're just going to leave it all behind, right? Even when it kinda' hurts coz you dont understand why and you still do have the hope that the both of you used to hold that one day, there would still be "the two of you"?

Oh I know the answer to all of these questions. Its a simple resounding YES.

Anyway yeah, this is about me. Im moderately stupid for still dwelling on this (just moderately though). Im thankful that just before I turn another year older, I make all these new realizations and learn new lessons. My lesson for this year is "learn to let go (and do it with poise please)". A friend of mine told me he hates birthdays and I wondered why. I guess it just doesnt matter much to some people but for me, I find this time of the year meaningful everytime.

I think I'm over him. I dont know what he's thinking. Sometimes it drives me crazy. I really did fall for him. But as I said in a past entry, this is a year of lots of "moving on's" and "stepping forward's".

I have a clearer view of my plans for the future. I am grateful for the new friends I have. Soon, I will fall in love again. Undoubtedly. But for now, I am trying not to awaken love till its time. I dont want to make the same mistake.

Time to fly, goose!

I Wish I Were a Bear

I Wish I Were a Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could get used to that.

And another thing: before you hibernate,
You're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
That wouldn't bother me either.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business;
You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.

Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up.
He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
He likes it!

I wish I were a bear.

-Source unknown
<

Who's your bucket of cold water?

I feel like I've been eating too much these past few days and it annoys me, but its weird coz I always feel like wanting to munch on something. My cousin, knowing how such a weight freak I tend to be sometimes, gave me his first warning: "Tsk tsk, I gained 5 kilos the last time I was like that..." I couldn't say anything, I felt defenseless. I'm a dietitian and I'm supposed to know what to say. But I knew that I'm not on the right grounds since my cousin knows all the kinds of junk I have been stuffing myself lately. And thats what makes me feel so guilty, its driving me crazy. Plus, I have not been able to visit the gym that regularly since November 'cause I've been so busy.

*********************************************
Its been quite tiring the past weeks and I have so much to do. My youth group is opening our very first school outreach ministry so we've been quite on the run about that. And then theres band practice and too many things to write... and so many other tralala's. Too much to do really drives me insane. But so is not doing anything so I guess I'd rather do something. I can't anymore complain.

Too many things bug my head and I've been sharing them with my best buddy D and he called me a doof for thinking those things. I felt a splash of cold water all over me... like a little reality wake-up call. Sometimes when our heads get clouded with so many things, we tend to veer away from the realities of life and we get paranoid with some things and we freak out. We need people who would give us a little slap to wake up. I really thank D for being sorta like my reality checker... and my water bucket. He's fasting this week and we wont be chatting but I'm sure to get loads of water splashes from him again when he returns.

***************************************************
Yesterday I was on a little "fight" with my friend. Well, I wouldnt really call it a fight. I just had to be the one to tell his face that he did something wrong and what he did affected some of our other friends and our group as a whole. He was obviously hurt and he sulked in the corners the rest of the day and then he played the drums like he was in a mad fit. I was trying to decide within myself whether I did it the right way or not--telling him the things I said--but people confirmed it to me that he really needed a rebuke. Although I was beginning to get pissed at his actions, I wasnt too worried but sent him a note apologizing for my being "brutally frank". And my cousin (same guy who reminded me about weight watching), sort of rebuked me as well when I was beginning to make comments about how childish our friend was for abusing the drums. He was like, "Hey hey c'mon now, fix yourself!!!" Ooops, there goes another bucket of cold water splashed all over my face! First because my cousin is younger than myself and no one younger really has that much guts to say things like that to me. And second, because I knew I was indeed wrong.

Anyway, this morning I got an email from that drummer friend saying that I shouldnt be the one apologizing and he thanked me for saying all the things I said... and also for being a bit harsh (although I wouldnt say that was just "a bit"). He says it helped him grow up in a way. I guess I've just been someone's bucket of cold water.


Yea, sometimes we need a rebuke...or a slap...or a comment... or a knee-jerk quip from someone...or a splash of cold water just so that we'd wake up and realize we're not always right. ;)

My baby has grown up

This is my baby beagle Whoopie. She's nine months old now (in human age count) and she's superrrrrrrrr!!!

"Money will buy a fine dog, but only love will make him wag its tail." I read this from the Encyclopedia of 15,000 Illustrations. Although I didnt really buy her coz she was given to me as a gift, everytime Whoopie wags her tail enthusiastically, licks my hand (or face if she reaches it) and excitedly jumps to reach my nose whenever I get home, I never cease to be amused. She does that to everyone in the family. Wow, she loves us! I wonder what she's really thinking.


Whoopie's like the youngest child in the family. And she's even more popular than any of us. Neighbors would pass by and they'd call her name and she knows all of them so whenever there's a new face (or smell), she'd bark like nuts! All of the kids love her too, I get jealous sometimes. Haha!

Whoopie sleeps in my brother's room. Of all the weirdest habits that she has, its her knocking on my door early in the morning to wake me up that I find most interesting. She's been doing that since she was little. Its as if to tell me, "Wake up, you have to work, you lazyhead!!!!" She's my official alarm clock and a pretty helpful one coz my mobile phone does not work for me anymore.

So this is Whoopie. Pretty soon she's gonna grow bigger and taller and have a boyfriend. I dunno what her plans are for the future but I wish her all the best! The biggest lesson that she has taught me is all about RESPONSIBILITY. (Wow, Whoopie! I dont know if youve succeeded teaching me that but thanks, I owe you one!)And I promise I'd be her best big sister ever! ;)


It's my little brother's birthday today, by the way! HAPPY BURPDAY, BRO!!! >:D<

Love for a four-year old

This is my 4-year old niece, Shann, undoubtedly my favorite. She taught me the valuable lesson that there are lots of things that money CAN buy. But for everything else, there's a child's smile.


I remember the first time we were teaching her to say "I love you" and she'd say "Wuv yoooo..." And we would just keep telling her that everyday with the biggest hug we can give.


But now that she can say it on her own and better, she'd just bombard us with it till we can't anymore contain it.




"I love you." she'd say out of the blue.

"I know. You keep saying it."

"Yes. You might forget."

Isn't it true? We love people and we know that they know but it makes so much difference telling them. And although love is beyond words, it makes a big difference being told that we are loved than just simply knowing it in our heads, doesnt it?

This, we often forget and take for granted.

"I love you!!!" she'd yell for another time.

I'd smile. "And how big is that love?"


And she'd stretch out her arms as far and wide as she could (even falling sometimes). "As big as thissssssssssssssssssss..." For her, that's infinity. It's without measure.

And that's just the sweetest.

My Utmost for His Highest

GOD BLOGS DO NOT GET COMMENTS! (A friend told me that). People hate it. People squirm at the very thought of it. People clam up when they read it... if they ever read it. But here, I'm going to write a GOD BLOG anyway!


Here’s the stupid thing. We think we have everything. We think we’re so good. Sometimes it’s just too hard for us to admit that everything we have is never complete and everything we are will never really be good enough. No matter how we try to turn it inside and out, that’s how we often are.


Here’s another stupid thing. Most people long most commonly for these things: peace, love, happiness, abundant life, and purpose. They search everywhere and try everything… except God. The irony is that He is the source of all these. And no matter how we try to turn it inside and out, press it down or shake it together, that’s the truth that cannot be killed.


You might not find this the coolest blog I've ever posted, but I am more than happy to be posting it.


Everything I post here has served and continues to serve its purpose in my own life and you might want it for your life too. By sharing, I pay tribute to the One who deserves all the glory. PEACE OUT!!!





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Pictures taken from booklet published by World Wide Publications (Billy Graham Evangelistic Association)

Me and D and Baltimore City

2006 is my year of great expectancy! Not that I never expected great things to happen in the previous years but because I'm growing up (forward, thank Lordy), I feel that this year is going to be so much better. The Chinese call it the "Year of the Dog". But one of the very wise persons I look up to told me a few days ago that although we respect the Chinese folks' belief of the significance of that, we should rather stick with the claim that it is the "Year of the Overflow"!!! That's what she calls "Speaking Faith". Its like commanding your life to be what you want it to be coz, indeed, your life is most likely what you say it is (Just as you are what you think or say you are). So yea, I think its better to keep repeating in your head that you will have overflowing blessings this year than overflowing umm... dogs... hmmm?

1. As I wrote in my previous blog, I expect a lot of moving on's and changes. I feel like I've grown two rulers high in 2005(though I'm still vertically challenged). Moving on... because I'm awaiting my tickets to Baltimore!!! Manila is a great place and it's still my home (and the flying roaches don't change that fact) but the idea of Baltimore gives me the high because it's something different..and new. My aunt's paying for my fare and I'll be helping her tend her business. Its something exhilirating, firstly, coz I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to do and secondly, coz I've never really talked to my aunt all my life until now!!! But its great coz after all the troubles I had with the immigration papers for Australia that I have long been working on, Ive realized that maybe Australia isn't for me...YET. Its a great place and i've been dreaming to go there but I promised myself that I WILL GET THERE ONE DAY. But for now, Baltimore... woohoo!! (My good buddy Matt tells me its terribly cold there though...) :D

Its also great coz I would be in the same hemisphere as all of my Canadian friends and hopefully I'd have the chance to see them in my spare time (if I'd have any). My Canny goose friend Zak promised that he'd fly over to visit me sometime when he returns from his missionary trip to Guatemala and his best friend Rorrie says he'll tour me around Alberta during the spring (If I'm there already by that time)! That's another thing I look forward to with a huge grin.

Aside from all that, I'd also be only 4 hours away from New York City, my favorite place in the world!!! :D

 

2. Another awesome thing I'm expecting this year is meeting up with my best goose, Dan (D, for short..er). We dunno where were meeting up yet though. We're going skydiving (arent we, D?), yipeeeeeeeeee!!! I dunno if that'll ever take away my fear of heights (or if I can really do it to begin with) but the thought rambles my head. We still have to see about that. He's going to be flying to Ireland too in March (from Australia) and so he himself anticipates a lot of exciting new things. But the best thing about D is not his "curly tops" or his boyish good-looks (uhrrrmmm...thats his own description) nor the hilarious song he wrote about me but that he's one real unadulterated unpretentious friend (who's a major goose like me). He has a good head on his shoulders (a dollar for that...mruwahahahaha!) and he always asks me questions I have to research on to be able to answer. Hehehe. This part of this blog is, well ok, a tribute to him (so D, smile ya goose!).

There's more but I have to go back to work...ahehehehe! Peace out!! :)

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Lessons of victory from a flying roach

I anticipate a lot of changes in my life this year. Changes are exciting for me... although scary sometimes. I ponder this cheesiness right now after a short battle with a flying roach, in which i emerged victorious! Ooh, sweet sweet victory! Let me describe this feat a little...


I was thinking of something so noble when suddenly this roach flies above me from out of nowhere! I was actually pondering my shortcomings in the previous year (Uhrrmmm...). Ok and trying to think of what to do with my blog template as well. And there, that ugly thing suddenly flies above me, disrupting all my thoughts. I tried not to scream (because hey, i've been proudly telling everyone in the house that I've "grown up"!). Yea, so maybe out of pride, i gathered all courage to attack that little ugly, smelly thing that came from out of nowhere. What was it doing in my room? Dang!


With all the boldness I have collected for myself, I picked up the Baygon Insect Spray and squirted a "fatal amount" all over that little ugly smelly piece of crap! Wooossshhh! (Of course I felt stupid after, as I always feel whenever I overdo the spraying attack considering that i'm battling with just ONE piece of that little ugly smelly piece of underground nuisance!) But it gave me great joy seeing it going insane in its near-death symptoms. The only problem was that it could fly and so while it tried to fight death in all its squirming ugliness, it kept flying around in its dizzy state. What a pest!


Ok, so I won that little battle yay (Congratulate me!!!)! But i didn't finish my blog template. And as work starts again soon (bye holiday break!), i dont think i can get back to it soon. I was talkin about changes at the start coz I think I'm the kind of person who tries to find ways to enjoy changes. Thats the same reason why I wanted to change the template. I dont like monotony. I love surprising and being surprised.


I have a feeling I might need to do a lot of moving on at the start of this year. I anticipate a lot of surprises (both good and bad) and in the same way, I'm also getting ready to surprise (in a good way). And I'm ready for whatever battle I may have to face. Got all my gears in place. I'm ready to laugh and cry and laugh some more and goose around a little (or okay, a big). One thing I realized is that whenever a door closes, a window always opens... or vice-versa.


So c'mon 2006, I'm ready!!!




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