Wakey Wakey to Me..

My brother is getting married next year!!!

I had to slap myself in front of the mirror to make myself believe it. For real. My only authentic brother in the world is about to start his own family (Most of my "adopted" big bro's are already married except for Zak, who's just about to get married next year as well.)

Wow, this is the real world. People get married. People move around. People move on.

I was still dilly-dallying in my pants thinking about buying a digital camera or taking basic photography course and those things. My mom tells me to stop thinking about them for now and learn how to prioritize. I understand that, but i tell myself that i do have the right to enjoy these things because Im single. But my mom's right and I really do know what she's talking about. I have to start learning how to be wise. ..especially with money matters. But all that mom said didnt really sink in till i found out my brother's about to get married!!! For a moment i was super stunned and a voice kept yanking inside me, "It cant be true! It cant be true! How can this be? Noooooooooooo!!!"

Well he fell in love a long time ago, kept that consistent for years and now he's ready to leave his home to start another. Thats the simplest way to explain it.

Okay, yeah, im over-reacting! But im not feeling this way because im insecure that he's getting married before me or anything. Its just that im kinda scared for my bro. I keep asking, is he ready? He's of legal age, but i still see him as my young obnoxious life-long enemy. I just realized that so much have changed... and has to change. First on the line is how I see him as a person.
Like a big bang, reality hit me. Ive been dwindling in all of my dreams and all the things Im planning to shop for when i get super rich (which will be very soon hehehehe) but suddenly, God woke me up with such news! Now i see the bigger pie. My life isnt my own. It never was. And just as I ask "Is my brother ready?", I should also ask it for myself. How am i getting ready for the same life that my brother is about to face? How am i getting ready to face a bigger family and what is my part in my brother's choice of life? I know i have a part because as i said, my life isnt my own. I am accountable.

How am i going to share God's Word to my brother and his future wife so they'd have a God-centered, far-from-crumbles married life? How am i going to be as an aunt to my future niece or nephew? How am i going to get over these rushing thoughts that are starting to devour me? Argh.

My brother has great respect for me, I can sense that. We may not be too good at throwing thoughts to each other in a systematic way but I know he looks up to me. I dont really say it to him in a nice way but i look up to him as well. And very soon, my responsibility in his life would be more than just to be his silly goose of a sister or the maid of honor at his wedding.

I've lived away from reality too long. Thanks for waking me up, bro!